Lost and Found
by Fae Faythe
Summary: Natasha Romanoff is no stranger to being on the run, and she's never minded being a ghost. But what happens when Captain America calls her in to help save his best friend, Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier, who seems to have more in common with Natasha than anyone could have imagined.
1. Prologue

Natasha was bored. She'd been on the run for a couple of months, and honestly, she was surprised that it had taken this long for the KGB to catch up to her. She was supposed to be dead, after all, and her old countrymen didn't forgive deserters. The moment she'd posted S.H.I. 's dirty laundry online, she'd known that they would come after her. But now, tied to a chair, old blood making her hair dark and matted, her patience was wearing thin. She'd been caught, fine. But leaving her stuck in a room on her own for nearly twenty-four hours was bordering on negligence. It was insulting, really.

The one thing she did have to keep her preoccupied was speculating about her captor. She'd known all the agents during her time with the KGB – made it a priority, actually, so she'd know her competition – but she'd been drugged before she could get a good look at whoever had thrown a bag over her head.

"Natalia." About time. Natasha was starting to think that they'd forgotten about her. Even better, she knew that voice.

"Nikolaj," Natasha said, looking the agent up and down. He'd just been a lackey when she'd left, and had certainly grown up since then. Handsome, well-dressed, he looked every inch a KGB agent. Nikolaj had always been ambitious, but taking _her_ in? This would catapult his reputation to unknown heights. "So good to see you again."

The other agent laughed snidely. "Natalia Romanova. Back from the dead."

Natasha inclined her head, smiling. "Guilty."

"You were hot shit here for a while, before you _died_. We mourned for you, you know. Alexi especially." Natasha stiffened at the name of her ex-trainer, feeling a flash of old, instinctual fear flash through her faster than she could clamp down on it. Nikolaj noticed.

"Once you were gone, he moved on. To me." No wonder he looked so smug, Natasha thought, shoving the residual fear to the back of her mind. He thought that he was Alexi's new favorite. Clearly, Alexi had given up his old practices, or Nikolaj would be considerably less pleased with himself. "And he was not happy when he found out that you faked your death." Nikolaj whistled. "I've never seen him so mad."

Natasha shrugged – well, as much as she could with her arms tied behind her back. "Next time you see him, tell him not to take it personally. I don't play for the losing team, and you were losing." That, and Clint Barton had tried to kill her on Nick Fury's orders. To this day, Natasha had no idea what had changed his mind about her. Maybe she'd ask him, if he wasn't too far underground to find. She'd uploaded all of Clint's dirty secrets too, and it was dangerous for spies to be seen in public these days. Everyone and anyone they'd ever pissed off would be gunning for them.

Hence her field trip with the KGB. She'd been close, too. So close to making it out of the country. _That_ still rankled.

"We might have welcomed you back, you know." Natasha snorted at that. Bullshit. The Russians never forgave and rarely forgot, and faking one's death to get out of the service was pretty high on their list on no-no's.

"I think you're forgetting how long I've been in this business, Nikolaj," Natasha said coolly. "And I remember exactly what we do to traitors." One of her very first independent assignments was hunting down a KGB agent who'd gone rogue, and bringing him back. She'd done the questioning herself, and the agent hadn't survived.

Besides, she understood now. If Alexi knew that Natasha had been captured, he would want to see to her himself. Nikolaj was trying to impress him. It would have been a nice plan, if Alexi had any patience for kiss-asses.

Nikolaj shook his head, before he smiled and plucked a scalpel off of a trestle table in the corner of the room. "Well, let's get on with this, shall we?" Natasha sighed to herself when a phone rang, shattering the silence. Her phone, the one they had taken off of her when she'd been taken in. Natasha cocked her head curiously, an odd smile twisting her lips up in the corners. There was only one person who knew that number.

"You mind getting that? I might as well answer before I scream myself too hoarse to talk." She peered up at him innocently. Nikolaj squinted at her, obviously wondering if she was making fun of him. Which she was, but he had never been good with sarcasm. "As a last request?" Nikolaj growled, but handed the cell phone over nonetheless.

"Romanoff," she said casually, wedging the phone between her shoulder and ear.

"Nat, it's me." Natasha recognized the voice immediately. "We found him. And we need your help."

"Where?"

"Brooklyn."

"Give me four hours." Natasha said, letting the phone drop and smashing it under her heel. "Sorry, but I've got to go. It was great catching up, though. We should do it again sometime."

"You really are as arrogant as they say." Nikolaj snapped.

"Nikki," she said, laughing when he stiffened at the nickname, "here's the thing. You've read my file, so you know everything I've done, everything I've fought. And after aliens, monsters, super-soldiers, and gods, regular people just don't scare me anymore." Nikolaj's eyes widened, but before he could move, Natasha exploded into motion, flipping the chair over and smashing it against the ground, effectively freeing herself. She shrugged once, loosening the tightness in her shoulders before dropping to the ground, sweeping her foot out, and knocking her mentor onto his ass. She leaned down and plucked the scalpel – the very one he was about to use on her – out of his hand and twirled it in her fingers. "Did you really think that it would be this easy?" she asked softly, straddling his chest, slipping his gun out of its holster and pressing it to his forehead. "Come on, Nikolaj. You got the drop on me because I let you." The younger agent's face twisted with anger and Natasha stood swiftly. "Tell Alexi I say hi." With a smile, she struck downward, jamming the scalpel through Nikolaj's hand. She took back her belongings, all laid out in a nice, neat row for her, turned, and shot him in both kneecaps before she turned to go. That, at least, would keep him from following her for a while.

Nikolaj screamed as she walked away, promising that she would regret this and swearing that she would never have a moment's peace. "He's going to find you." Nikolaj snarled. "And he's going to take you apart!" Natasha fought the urge to turn around and shoot him in the head to make him shut up, but forced herself to keep walking. Nikolaj hadn't even posted guards. No one knew that she was there, all because he wanted to be the one to bring Natasha Romanoff, assassin back from the dead, to the KGB in pieces. Natasha almost smiled; and he said that _she _was arrogant. Pity though, that she hadn't stayed to get what she had wanted in the first place. All of her missions were online, but there were some things that she'd even kept from S.H.I.E.L.D. It would've been nice to see how much the Russians had discovered, and how many secrets she had left.

If she was smart, she'd stick with her original plan: get out of the US, where there were several very powerful people who wanted to see her behind bars, maybe find Clint, and lay low for a little while.

But Steve had called her in, and though she'd never been a patriot - for either nation shed served - she owed him. Captain America might inspire loyalty in Americans, but Natasha was Russian, or had been, at least. And if there was anyone an ex-Soviet spy was going to follow, it was Steve Rodgers.

More pressingly, Steve and Sam had succeeded: They'd found Steve's mentally-addled, one armed old war buddy. Who, incidentally, did scare her. Even more than Banner, who's green rage monster had almost smashed her into bloody paste on the S.H.I.E.L.D airship so long ago. And if Steve would risk calling her when he knew that she was trying to go underground, it could only mean one thing: They were out of their depth, and Bucky Barnes was more far gone than they'd bargained for.


	2. Chapter 1

Sam and Steve both stood when they saw her walk into the dingy diner where they'd agreed to meet. It hadn't been hard to find them. Both were soldiers, not spies, and had chosen a meeting place they thought would be discreet, and somewhere the three of them would stand out like so many sore thumbs. But Natasha hadn't had the time to change locations. She knew that Nikolaj would send everyone and anyone after her as soon as he could get to a phone, so getting out of D.C had been her first priority. Getting new clothes was a close second. Her bloodstained T-shirt and ripped jeans were replaced by a stolen leather jacket, black tank top, and Levi's that were slightly less ratty than the ones the KGB had mangled when they'd taken her in. Unfortunately, washing the blood caked in her hair hadn't made the list, so Natasha had swiped an old baseball cap and pulled her red hair through it, hiding the matted mess.

"Hey you guys," Natasha said cheerfully, kissing Steve on both cheeks and Sam full on the mouth. "Baby, I missed you," she said, pouting slightly. The two soldiers stood gaping at her for a second, before she slid into the booth beside Sam, pulling him down with her, and Steve finally caught on. He sat across the table from her and Sam, looking more careworn than he had when she'd last seen him, and that was after he'd been blown up. Hunting for Winter Soldier was doing a number on him, Natasha could tell.

"What was that for?" Sam asked, too loudly.

"Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable," Steve said, remembering.

"Exactly. Now no one will look at us," Natasha said. "Besides, Steve's a useless liar." Sam still looked disgruntled, which seemed out of place. From everything she'd seen from him, the ex-pilot was an easygoing guy. Natasha guessed that the search had been hard on both of them. "Fill me in," she said, keeping her voice light in case anyone was listening. Which was doubtful, but you never could be too careful.

"We found him." Steve said.

"I got that one on my own," Natasha said, fighting the urge to roll her eyes. "Why do you need _me_?"

"Because brute force isn't enough to stop him if he decides that killing us is his mission again." Sam filled in when Steve didn't reply. "And you're the only one with the skills to take him down."

"That we could trust," Steve added, meeting her eyes. Trust. They trusted her. That was a new one. "And we've got intel that says that the H.Y.D.R.A is looking for him too, what's left of it, at least. And the US government. And the Russians." Fantastic. So they were in a race against a parasitic spy ring, the most powerful government in the world, and a nation who's secret service wanted her head on a spike. Proverbially. Though after how she'd humiliated Nikolaj, it might be literal.

"What intel?" Natasha asked dubiously. Soldiers didn't rely on information or informants, they took orders.

"I've got a friend that's still on the in with the army," Sam said. "Guy owes me, and he's been keeping us updated. The other two though…"

"You've been fighting your way through them." Natasha guessed. H.Y.D.R.A would want their asset back, and it didn't surprise her that her old countrymen wanted in on the action. The Winter Soldier had done unimaginable damage in the last fifty years, even more than she'd sniffed out when she had tried to find him herself. Whoever controlled him would have a massive advantage. She didn't want to think of what the KGB would do with that kind of power at their command. She would be dead, that was for damn sure.

Natasha snapped out of her thoughts when she saw the waitress coming heading towards them out of the corner of her eye. "Get something when she asks what you want," she hissed under her breath.

"What?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Not ordering is suspicious, so look less like you're on death row and order the lunch special." Natasha said, just as the waitress made it to their table.

"How are you kids today?" the woman asked, very cheerfully.

"Great, thanks," Natasha said, turning to her and matching her chipper tone. "My brother is showing us around town."

"Fiancée?" the waitress asked, looking at her and Sam and smiling.

"Newlyweds!" Natasha chirruped, winding her arm through Sam's and leaning her hand on his shoulder. The waitress clapped her hands together, oblivious to Sam's discomfort.

"Well, what can I get for the happy couple?"

"Two specials," Sam said, when Natasha looked at him adoringly, and kicked him under the table when he took too long to answer. Steve ordered the soup of the day and the waitress left after congratulating them again.

"So how do you know he's here?" Natasha said as soon as the waitress was out of earshot, dropping the overly-cheerful tone. Marriage covers were her go-to; they were easy to pull off, and people always believed them. Everyone loved a love story.

Neither of the two men responded for a while. Sam didn't meet her eyes, staring at his coffee like it was the most important thing in the world, and Steve shifted awkwardly, as if he didn't know what to do with his limbs. He did that sometimes, Natasha had noticed, like he still wasn't used to his super-soldier body. A nervous tic more than anything, she'd always thought.

"He's been leaving a trail of bodies since DC," Steve said finally. "All matching the MO in the file you gave me. Look." Steve pushed a map towards her, with a line in red pen that travelled from DC all the way to Brooklyn.

"He's going home." Natasha said, disregarding the macabre red trail across the east coast.

"What?" Sam asked, leaning in.

"Come on, Steve, you can't have missed this." Natasha said, staring the captain down. He was no spy, but he wasn't stupid. He had to know where the Winter Soldier was headed, especially when he was making it this obvious. And if they knew, then Natasha would bet her favorite Glock that everyone else was coming to the same conclusion, if they hadn't already. If Steve wanted to catch him first, they would have to get moving.

"I know," Steve said softly.

"Then what's the problem?" Natasha asked impatiently.

"What if he doesn't remember me again?" Steve asked, and something broke behind his eyes. "What if he tries to kill one of you, and what if this time he succeeds?" Steve shook his head, and breathed deeply before continuing. "We need to bring him in, we need to help him, but I won't risk either of you getting hurt." Natasha couldn't help but think that this little crisis might've taken place before she'd hauled ass all the way to New York, or before Steve had allowed Sam to tag along on this little adventure in the first place.

"We're with you, man." Sam said, cutting him off. "Do you think Natasha would've bothering coming if she didn't think that we had the upper hand here?" Sam side-eyed her, quickly gauging her reaction. "No offense."

"None taken," Natasha said, amused. He was wrong, besides. She didn't know if they could bring in the Winter Soldier, not as dangerous as he was, and not if he decided that killing them was what he wanted to do. She had fought aliens, spies, soldiers, and Bruce Banner, but no one scared her like the Winter Soldier did. The last time she'd faced him, he'd shot her. More to the point, he'd shot Steve. Three times. And Rodgers was pumped full of super-soldier serum that made him all but indestructible. If the Winter Soldier could kill Captain America, then what chance did normal humans have? Not a good one, but Natasha kept that to herself. She owed Steve a debt. He'd saved her life back in New Jersey, and again by distracting the Winter Soldier on the bridge, when he'd shot her and she had almost bled out all over the pavement.

Besides, a small, vindictive part of her wanted to go up against him again. No one shot her twice and got away with it. Not even if he had been Steve's best friend in a past life. If this was her chance at getting even, she was going to take it.

"Rodgers," she said, interrupting his wallowing. "We're with you. I came all the way here because you called me. Believe me, I don't do that for just anyone." For Fury maybe, but he didn't call anymore. And S.H.I.E.L.D was dead. All she had on her plate was running from Russians. Which might've taken up a good chunk of her time, but Natasha also figured that if they came calling, who better to have her back than a man who would punch through solid steel, and his army buddy? "Where would he go, if he was trying to get home?" Natasha tapped her fingers on the table, only stopping to gratefully accept her food from the smiling waitress, before she turned back to him, expectant. "We don't have a lot of time, you know," she reminded him.

"Red Hook." Steve said finally. "If Bucky's going back home, that's where he'll go."

"Good." Natasha said, pleased that they had a destination. Not having a plan always made her antsy. "Come on boys," she said, slapping down a twenty to pay for their meal - that none of them had touched. "We've got to make a stop on the way."

"Where?" Sam asked curiously. Natasha smiled.

"You'll know it when you see it."

* * *

"A warehouse?" Sam said when the taxi pulled up beside an abandoned factory near the river. Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Oh ye of little faith," she said, walking ahead of the two soldiers. "It's not like it's haunted." She smiled back at them. "Or are you two afraid of a couple of ghosts?"

"Yeah, the last ghost that I saw was his old war pal, and he tried to kill us," Sam said, only half-joking. "So ghosts would be pretty high on my list of fears right about now."

"I promise," Natasha said, leaning down to a retinal scanner hidden in an old brick in the building, "you don't have to worry about that kind of ghost here." With a rusty creak, the wall of the building slid open, revealing a door inside.

"Is this place safe?" Steve asked as he followed her through the opening. The wall closed back up behind the three of them with a crash.

"Eh, more or less," Natasha said, waving a hand. She went over to the wall and flicked a switch, watching as the lights shuddered on, illuminating the whole place.

"It's a dump," Sam said, unimpressed. Natasha frowned.

"You two really don't appreciate the work I put into these things," she said, only pouting a little. She stomped her foot on the floor, revealing a hatch with stairs beneath it, leading deep underground.

"Fantastic," Sam grumbled. "Creepy building, magic stairs...you got any more weird tricks up your sleeve." Natasha had to smile at that one.

"Hurry up, you two," she said, and the two followed her down the flight of stairs, albeit reluctantly. "This is where the fun is." This time when Natasha flicked on the lights, they turned on smoothly, revealing shiny floors, wall-to-wall arrays of weapons, armor, and everything she could need. There was even a kitchen tucked away in the south corner of the building, and space for sleeping.

"What is this place?" Steve asked, staring at everything. Natasha felt a stab of gratification at the awed look on his face.

"Call it one of my hidey-holes," she said.

"One of?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What, you think I've stayed alive all these years without a few backup plans?"

"But I thought you leaked all of your information when we took down H.Y. ." Steve said, wandering towards the center of the room. It took Natasha a second to remember that he wasn't used to seeing technology like she'd squirreled away in here, not even after being in the modern age for almost a year.

"You don't stay ahead of the game by telling everyone your secrets," Natasha explained. "And this is one of mine."

"Then why show us?" Sam asked, looking towards the rack of guns mounted on one wall and whistling appreciatively.

"Because we're going to need a place to bring your friend, Rodgers," she replied. "And this place is one of the safest in the city." Natasha placed her palm on the wall and a holographic map of the city flickered to life in the center of the room. "Stark owed me a favor," she explained, seeing the awestruck looks from both Steve and Sam.

"Damn, girl, I wish I had your connections," Sam said. Her connections, maybe, but not her enemies, Natasha thought idly as she uploaded the path that the Winter Soldier had made on his way to New York.

"How do you work all of this?" Steve asked, watching her plug in the coordinates for Red Hook, and input the rest of the data. The hologram whirred as it calculated the time the Winter Soldier should arrive.

"I'm no tech whiz," Natasha said, watching the screen, "but when I was undercover with Stark, he showed me a few tricks." And flirted more than she should've allowed, although it was all to keep her cover. Natasha had spoken with Pepper Potts after her cover had been blown and they'd found out that she worked for S.H.I.E.L.D, and the two women had worked things out between them. When this all blew over, she should really schedule some time to see Pepper; Stark Industries' CEO was brilliant, and the only one Natasha was positive could handle Tony.

"How are we going to find him?" Sam asked. "Even with all of this," he gestured at Natasha's holographic setup, "we still need to know where he is, not just when he'll get here."

"And the Lord said, let there be CCTV," Natasha said in response, plugging in another command. Eight different security camera feeds popped into existence all around her, just as the computer finished its calculations.

"Today." Steve said, reading the words on the screen. "If this is right – "

"It is." Natasha cut in.

"Bucky'll be here in less than four hours." Steve said, something like relief in his voice.

"Then we've got three and a half to get ready." Natasha said. "Boys, what's mine is yours," she said, nodding towards the arsenal displayed on the walls. "Take your pick."

* * *

**Hey all! Fae here. This is my first Marvel fanfiction, and I hope you all are enjoying it so far! If you have any comments, questions, concerns, feedback, please leave a review. They totally make my day and (I won't lie) I live off of lovely, positive reviews. A fic without review is an Oreo without milk**


	3. Chapter 2

"So what am I looking for?" Sam asked over the comm that Natasha had given him. It was a safe channel that she set up years before, before the KGB, before S.H.I.E.L.D, before everything had gone to shit. Hopefully - and she still wasn't sure - no one cracked it yet.

"Bodies," Natasha said, pressing her hand to her earpiece and shaking her hair out of the hat she'd used to cover it. "Mayhem, chaos, an amnesiac with a metal arm?"

"I'll keep looking," Sam said, and Natasha could practically hear him rolling his eyes at her.

"Call me if you see anything," Natasha said, clicking off of the comm and disappearing into the small bathroom in the corner of the warehouse. The Winter Soldier wasn't scheduled to arrive for another few hours, Sam was on the lookout, and Natasha didn't think that talking to Steve about the inevitable battle between him and his old best friend would be the best idea.

And so, showering seemed like a viable option.

"You know, Rodgers," Natasha said when Steve barged into the bathroom. "This _is_ my place, and knocking is important." Natasha laughed as Steve blushed, seeing that she was only half-clothed in jeans and a bra, and quickly averted his eyes.

"Sorry! Sorry. Is that blood?" Steve asked, obviously desperate for a topic of discussion besides the fact that she was half-naked. Natasha followed his gaze to a few red droplets on the tile floor.

"Yes," she answered simply, pulling a clean shirt on over her head and shaking out her wet hair. "You can look now."

"Are you okay?" Steve asked, meeting her eyes but still blushing. "What happened?"

"I'm a spy," she said, probing a small cut on her hairline. It had bled a lot, but her hair should sufficiently hide it. "Blood is part of the job description. And not even in the fine print," she said contemplatively. "It's kinda the name of the game."

"Nat," Steve said, his voice bordering on paternal.

"You know," she said conversationally, "if you used your Captain America voice on the girls I tried to set you up with, you might actually get laid." Steve looked taken aback and Natasha felt a sting of something that resembled a guilty conscience before she squashed it.

"Natasha, come on," Steve said, following her as she slipped out of the bathroom.

"How about this?" Natasha suggested coldly, pulling a gun off of her wall, snapping in a full magazine, and tucking it into the waistband of her pants. "You focus on how you're going to beat your old friend into submission, and I'll deal with the blood in my hair, alright?"

That shut him up. This time, Natasha was sure that she felt bad, but she was too irritated to care. She was a big girl, she could take care of herself, and she didn't need Captain America acting like he was her personal bodyguard. Besides, she didn't have time to focus on the KGB or their vendetta against her right now. Right now, she was focused on not dying when the Winter Soldier came rolling into town. The death toll he'd drummed up was pretty damn high, and Natasha had no desire to become one of his victims.

She had no grand notions of heroics. She was a spy, not a soldier, and human at that. If anyone was going to get hurt in this fight, it was her and Sam, so that left the pressure on Steve to get his shit together, or they were all dead.

" Guys," Sam said over the comm. "I think I got something." It was about damn time. Natasha was sick of Steve's mothering and pouting, sick of sitting around and not doing anything. She'd been sitting around when the KGB had caught up to her, sitting in an airport terminal, waiting for a plane.

"Gear up, Rodgers," Natasha tossed out indifferently. "We've got company."

This time, Steve wasn't in his spangly outfit, but wore an old-fashioned bomber jacket straight out of the 40s and his shield strapped to his back.

Natasha wasn't worried about him so much. She had seen him and the Winter Soldier face off, and they were matched for strength and speed. Steve would be fine. Natasha, on the other hand, was armed to the teeth. Every and any weapon she could carry was on her person, from knives stuck in her boots and sleeves, to the guns strapped to her thigh holsters and tucked in the waistband of her pants. All that was standard. Natasha would have worn that for any mission, but this one was special. She slipped her electric bracelets onto her wrists and made sure that they were juiced up; electricity was the only thing she had in her arsenal that had ever stopped the Winter Soldier for any amount of time. She stuck an EMP into the inside pocket of her leather jacket, and made sure that she had plenty of scrambler discs on hand. A few more explosive goodies were tucked safely into the utility belt that she slung around her hips, and finally, she was ready to go.

"I know how much you like bikes," Natasha said, punching a switch on the wall. A garage door rumbled open, revealing several vehicles, all in mint condition. Natasha and Steve both swung over her stolen Harley's and roared into the sunlight. Natasha followed Sam's directions to the Red Hook neighborhood, stopping a few blocks away so that the sound of their engines wouldn't give them away.

"Shell Street," she said, repeating Sam's directions. "You know it?" Steve nodded wordlessly. Natasha was willing to follow as Steve wound his way through buildings with ease. He knew the neighborhood, she didn't. She didn't try to make conversation, feeling a familiar nervous energy creep into her blood as their neared their destination.

Then she froze, feeling eyes on the back of her neck, and her instincts started screaming.

"Move!" Natasha hissed, shoving Steve as hard as she could as a bullet whizzed by the place she'd been standing just seconds before. "Shit," Natasha swore and she ducked and ran, taking cover around the corner of a brick building. She took out her guns and cocked them both, safeties off. "So much for the element of surprise." A hail of bullets pelted the wall as she peeked around it, and Natasha drew back.

"I'll draw his fire," Steve said, in full command. "You see if you can get the drop on him from behind." Natasha nodded, understanding. She could do what was necessary, if it came to that, even if Steve couldn't. He wasn't a killer.

Natasha had no such qualms.

"Yo!" Sam's voice came from the other side of the wall, and Natasha heard another hail of bullets. "What the hell are you two doing?" he demanded, running up to them. "Dude's right behind us, let's go!"

"Cover me," Natasha ordered and the three of them burst out from behind the wall at the same time, Sam and Steve opening fire. Natasha didn't have time to look as she ran, but she heard bullets pinging off of metal. Whether it was Steve's shield or the Winter Soldier's arm, she couldn't say. _So much for him _remembering, she thought to herself as she ran. It had always been a pipe dream anyway. If H.Y.D.R.A was anything like the KGB in terms of weaponization and "training" tactics, Steve's friend was long gone. But she wasn't going to be the one to kill Captain America's only hope, not when he'd gotten his friend back.

But that didn't mean she would go easy on him.

"Natasha, where are you?" Sam demanded over the comm.

"I'm coming," she replied. She shot a grappling hook out of her bracelets and started to scale the crumbling brick wall to get a better vantage point as the fight raged below her. It was a wonder that no one had called the cops on them yet. She peeked downward as she vaulted herself onto one of the roofs above the alley and saw Sam and Steve back to back, trying to corner the Winter Soldier as her prowled around them in predatory circles. The two soldiers were holding up well, to their credit, and Natasha noticed that their adversary didn't look so good himself. His hair was longer than she remembered, his combat suit looked dirty and ragged, and there was something wrong with his mechanic arm - it kept sparking and jerking, like he was losing control over the bionic limb. Which would work in their favor.

"Draw his fire!" Natasha snapped over the comm, vaulting herself over a chimney, trying to get a better vantage point.

"Where the hell are you?" Sam demanded, a spray of gunfire accompanying his words.

"Over your head," Natasha said, hazarding another look below. The Winter Soldier had backed Sam and Steve into a corner, but they were firing back and protecting themselves as well as they could. "For Christ's sake Rodgers, would you actually hit him?" She growled, seeing Steve throw a halfhearted punch. What the hell was wrong with him? It was two on one and Steve had the same strength as their opponent. "Quit pulling your punches or none of us are going to make it out of here in one piece." Natasha shook her head despairingly. Unbelievable.

Her head snapped to the left as a new sound split the air. Sirens. Natasha swore violently and raced towards the sound.

"Cops!" Sam warned.

"I'm on it," Natasha said. "Give me three minutes." She slid down a fire escape and ran into the path of the police car, waving her arms frantically, her guns stowed out of sight. Tears cut tracks down her cheeks. "Officer!" she cried, her voice bordering on hysteria. The cop car skidded to a stop beside her and a burly man stepped out, palming the gun he wore on his hip.

"Ma'am, there have been reports of gunfire. Are you alright?"

"I'm okay, but it's awful!" Natasha sobbed, throwing herself into the officer's arms. He caught her awkwardly. "I'm going to need to borrow your car," she said softly, all traces of the screaming girl gone in an instant. Her hand struck upward, crashing into the man's jaw with a _crack_, and his head snapped backwards. Natasha detangled herself as he fell to the ground, stabbing the policeman with a hypodermic needle before he could get up. The man slumped and Natasha snatched his keys off of his belt. She was temped to go for his gun - one of hers was nearly out of ammo - but cops could trace their weapon and it wasn't worth the risk.

"Incoming!" Natasha shouted through the open window of the police car and she raced it through the alley. "Get the hell out of the way!" Sam and Steve jumped back before she could crash into them, but the Winter Soldier was slower. She hit him head on before braking, catching the H.Y.D.R.A asset between the hood of the police car and one of the alley walls.

"You stole a cop car?" Sam gaped as Natasha swung out of the driver's seat. "You just hit the bad guy with a cop car?"

"I improvised. You two okay?" Incredibly, neither looked worse for wear. Steve was bleeding from a gash on his cheek, but it wasn't deep.

"We're fine. You?" Steve said, his eyes daring her to snap at him again for being overprotective. "Natasha!" he shouted before she could respond. Natasha pitched forward as something slammed into her from the back, and then something cold was wrapped around her throat, jamming a knife up under her chin. Natasha froze, unwilling to even breathe in case it set him off.

"Bucky," Steve said softly, holding his hands up in surrender. Sam mimicked his expression. Natasha let out a strangled noise as the metal arm around her throat constricted.

"_That's not my name!" _the Winter Soldier growled and it took Natasha a second to realize that he'd replied in Russian.

"Bucky please," Steve said. "We're not trying to hurt you, we're trying to help." Natasha took advantage of his momentary distraction, trying to wriggle free as much as she could. Steve took a step closer and then the tip of the knife pricked her skin, drawing blood.

"_I'll kill her. I'll fucking kill her."_

"_They don't speak Russian," _Natasha said and the Winter Soldier's eyes snapped to her. "_But I do. And the metal arm is a liability." _Without pausing to think or contemplate the consequences, Natasha jammed her bracelet into her side, the voltage at maximum. There was a second of searing pain and everything went dark.

"Natasha!" Steve shouted in her face, shaking her. Damn, that had hurt. Natasha had stung herself before, but never like that. Now she knew why they'd been called 'Window's Bite' as prototypes. Natasha lifted her arm, a second syringe slipping out of a compartment of her bracelet. Electricity could only get you so far, sometimes having narcotics was the way to go.

"This will…knock him out," she said. Steve grabbed the syringe as Sam helped Natasha to her feet.

"You know, for someone who fights so hard to stay alive," Sam said, "you try to kill yourself a lot."

"The electric current would've amplified in his metal arm," Natasha explained weakly. "I improvised."

"You seem to be doing that a lot." Somehow, Natasha managed to smile.

"It worked, though, didn't it?" She shot a look at Steve, who was still crouched over the Winter Soldier's prone body. "Congrats, Rodgers. You've just captured the most dangerous man alive."

* * *

After the sixth time Sam had asked her if she was okay, Natasha stopped hearing it. Maybe it was a guy thing, always trying to protect her. Then again, Clint had never babied her this much. Maybe that was because he'd seen the damage she could do, and still decided to let her live.

They'd brought the Winter Soldier back to her warehouse without much difficulty – mostly because Natasha insisted that they pump as much drugs into him as possible. Now, still sedated, he slept quietly, chained to a table in the corner of the main area. Too close to her arsenal for comfort, but there was nothing to be done about it.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Sam asked dubiously as Natasha stuck a needle into the Winter Soldier's arm and drew some of his blood.

"Yes." She'd once kept a man alive, barely, for three weeks without issue. One of Alexi's tests, to see how well she could balance life and death. Apparently, she had a knack. "He's got to stay under, and I need to know how much I can give him." Besides, he'd already started to come to when she had woken up, so clearly electricity wasn't going to be the answer for keeping him out. Except for his arm, which Natasha had coated with a layer of scrambler discs.

Natasha carefully prepared an IV, filling it with a drug cocktail of her own design, and stuck it into the Winter Soldier's human arm. "Set a timer, would you?" she suggested. "This needs to be checked every four hours." Sam nodded. Natasha was grateful for the respite from his keen gaze. Her body still ached and the tips of her fingers tingled with residual electric current.

"How is he?" Steve asked when he came back from disposing of the police car.

"He'll live." For now.

"And you?"

"If I have to tell either of you that I'm fine one more time, there will be blood," Natasha promised. Steve slumped, as if some immense weight was crushing him. "Get some sleep, soldier," she suggested, her lips hinting at a smile. "You earned it."

"You're the one who almost died today."

"And yet here I am," Natasha said. She placed a hand on his arm and met his gaze. "Steve. You're exhausted. Besides, passing out's the only sleep I need." Steve looked like he was going to argue with her, but Sam chimed in, urging him to crash while he could. Natasha directed him to one of the bedrooms and he vanished inside it.

"You really think that we can fix this guy?" Sam asked as Natasha scanned the Winter Soldier's blood into her system.

"I don't know," she answered honestly, for once. She blinked as the results came up on the screen, a thrill of very, very old fear flashing through her. _Christ_, she thought, recognizing the data. _You've got to be kidding me_.

This wasn't good. This was very, very bad. But Natasha composed herself before Sam could notice. He peered at the results, mumbling about medical mumbo-jumbo and Natasha's head spun.

The stakes had just gone up.

* * *

**Ooh, suspense! What does Natasha not want the boys to know, hmm? If you have guesses, please leave a review! **

**Remember, a fic without reviews is a week without Saturday**

**~Fae**


	4. Chapter 3

There wasn't much activity over the next few days. Natasha, Steve and Sam all took shifts sleeping, but none of them well. Finally, Natasha went out, bought power tools, and took off the Winter Soldier's arm.

"What the hell are you doing?" Steve had demanded when he'd caught her at it.

"I think we will all rest easier if he doesn't have this on him," Natasha said, waving the prosthetic limb at him. "He doesn't need it," she continued when Steve started to argue. "And believe me, getting strangled by this thing isn't fun." Steve didn't object after that, for which Natasha was thankful. She didn't want to remind him that his was her place, and her rules.

But she didn't sleep better. She didn't sleep at all. There was enough room for everyone, but anytime Natasha thought about the Winter Soldiers blood scan, it shocked her back awake. That was a whole different issue, and one she played close to the chest. Quietly, she had begun compiling research, gathering everything she could on H.Y.D.R.A. She even called in favors, from anyone and everyone that owed her, because if she was right, keeping the Winter Soldier in her hideout was going to get her killed.

_"You disappoint me, Natalia." The voice was cold and lifeless, and Natasha was desperately afraid of it. _

_"I completed the mission," she said desperately, speaking in rapid-fire Russian. "I did as you asked." She couldn't see where she was, everything was black as pitch. But she heard footsteps coming towards her, and she scrambled away until she could go no further. "I completed the mission," she whispered, pleading. _

_"Not fast enough. Not well enough. And you left a witness." No. She couldn't have. Natasha had been careful, the ambassador had been killed, just like he had supposed to. She'd made it look like an accident, too, just like she had been told to. There was no witness, there couldn't have been. _

_There was a small cry and a thump as a body was thrown into the darkness beside her. _

_"His daughter saw you," the voice she was afraid of said. "There can be no witnesses, Natalia. Kill her and be done with it." _

_"Please," a tiny voice sobbed, to Natasha's left. She froze as the lights flickered on. A girl, a little girl who couldn't have been more than fourteen. "Please don't. I won't tell, I promise. I won't tell anyone!"_

_"Do it Natalia." _

_"No," Natasha answered, her voice shaking. She couldn't - she wouldn't! _

_"I'm going to give you one chance to reconsider, because you are my best pupil. Do it, or I'm going to hurt you."_

_"_No_!" Natasha said, more forcefully. Then she couldn't speak as pain screamed through her body. She fell to the ground, convulsing in agony, her whole body spasming. She screamed until her throat was raw and her voice had abandoned her. She didn't know how long the pain lasted, she didn't know where she was. All she knew was that when it stopped, she would do anything to keep it from happening again. _

_"Do it." The voice said again, and this time, Natasha didn't hesitate. She pulled the gun at her hip out of its holster and fired. _

"No!" Natasha said, startling awake. It took a moment to realize that she had shouted, and in Russian. She blinked, wondering when she had fallen asleep. She didn't remember. Slowly her vision swam into focus and she jerked back, biting her lip to keep from yelling again. Right in front of her was the sleeping face of the Winter Solider. Natasha cursed herself for her unbelievable stupidity. She must have sat down to switch out the IV bag full of drugs and fallen asleep. Falling asleep on a one-armed relic that had tried to kill her on several occasions. That had to be a first.

"What happened?" Steve said, bursting out of the small bedroom he'd claimed, still half asleep and shirtless. Absently, Natasha appreciated the effect the super soldier serum had on his physique.

"I fell asleep," Natasha said, waving her hand. "It's all -" She started to say 'alright', when the Winter Soldier shifted despite his drug-induced coma and mumbled something indecipherable. Natasha swore softly in Russian and moved to switch out the IV.

"Wait," Steve said and Natasha froze, unsure if he was serious or not. "Maybe...he'll remember." Natasha wasn't so optimistic, but she nodded anyway, ready to pump him full of sedatives if things went sour. "Put that away." Steve snapped at her when she pulled her gun out of her hip-holster. The same holster and gun she'd used on the ambassador's daughter.

"You talk, I shoot." Natasha said in a tone that brooked no argument.

"Bucky?" Steve asked gently as the Winter Soldier's eyes cracked open. "Bucky, it's me, it's Steve."

"Steve?" He mumbled, something almost like recognition flashing in his blue eyes. Suddenly, he looked like the Bucky Barnes from Cap's exhibit in DC. And then the recognition vanished and the Winter Soldier started to thrash against his restraints. Natasha flew into motion, switching out the IV bags and watching as her slipped into a coma again.

"What was that for?" Steve demanded. "He was remembering!"

"Maybe." It had been a start, at least, and more than she had expected. "But I'm not taking any chances. We will wake him up again," she promised. "Next time will be better." Lie. She didn't know if it would be all right, but it was what Steve needed to hear.

"He remembered." Steve said again. Natasha's eyes fell on the Winter Soldier again. He looked almost peaceful, despite the flash of rage that had twisted his face a moment before. "Nat, he remembered."

"You mentioned that," Natasha said, forcing a smile. "This is good, Rodgers." She wished she could share his optimism.

"You know, if you stare at that screen long enough, the letters will start to dance." Natasha didn't even acknowledge as Sam walked up beside her. Steve was out running errands and Natasha was glad. His happy ray of sunshine routine was starting to wear on her nerves. She'd never put much stock in positive thinking; it had never done her any good before. And right now, all the positive thinking couldn't set her mind at ease. "What is all that anyway?"

"The world's hardest game of Minesweeper," Natasha quipped, not looking away from the screen.

"You've been looking at the same thing for almost a week. Never took you for the technical type."

"You clearly don't understand the nature of spywork." Natasha didn't speak much after that, despite Sam's efforts to make conversation, and eventually he left her alone. But her glib statement had been true: Nearly half of what she did was compile and break down data. However, the information hidden in Winter Soldier's blood sample seemed to be eluding her. There was something she was missing, some variable that she hadn't thought of yet. His blood was swimming with drugs, courtesy of Natasha herself, and other things, more permanent things that her system didn't recognize. It was so _familiar_, but she couldn't remember why. It was infuriating, knowing that there was something there, but unable to access it.

And then there were the nightmares. Natasha didn't sleep much, but when she did, scenes from her past flashed in her mind on a loop: Missions, assassinations, everything she'd ever tried to hide or forget. All of which was now public access now.

"Computer," Natasha said, something nagging at the back of her mind. "Pull up my file." She had never taken a look at S.H.I.E.L.D's data on her. Not when she had been brought in, not when she'd released it all online, never. It was the one thing she preferred not to know. Besides, it wasn't as if Natasha was going to slip up and reveal anything about her past with the KGB. S.H.I.E.L.D knew what they knew and they'd taken her on anyways. Natasha didn't need to know any more than that. Clint had always said that it was stupid, her not knowing – "You know everything about everything else!" had always been his argument – but Natasha was comfortable letting this one slide. But only this one.

Her file loaded up onto the screen, pages and pages of her extraordinary work history. Most of it was recent, and then as she read further, her work for the Russians. But incomplete. Woefully incomplete. If H.Y.D.R.A thought that this was it…

"Red Room," Natasha said, reaching the end of her file. Christ, they didn't know about Red Room. It was more than she had ever hoped for, and something she had always known, if only subconsciously. If Clint had known in advance….he never would've saved her.

Shaking her head, Natasha's eyes darted downward towards the results of her physical, always printed on the last page because they weren't as important. Physically, she was in peak condition, but she'd already known that. Mental analysis, blood tests, physical characteristics, fighting styles, weapon of choice…

"_No way_," Natasha gasped in Russian, her eyes going wide as something occurred to her. She pulled up the Winter Soldier's blood sample and put the data next to her own.

They were the same. Exactly the same. Blood type, platelets, white blood cell count…everything except the narcotic cocktail swimming through the Winter Soldier's blood. It couldn't be a coincidence; Natasha didn't believe in coincidences. There had to be a reason that they were so similar, there _had _to be. Christ, she'd thought that it was bad before. At first glance, Natasha had just seen the effects of torture, mental and physical scarring so intense that it was amazing he was still alive. Natasha had known something similar; it was what made her so dangerous. She'd assumed that their _training _had been similar…but there had to be a reason that their physicalities were similar as well.

"_God damn it!" _she swore angrily, slamming her hand down on the table. It didn't make _sense_! She had no idea what the Winter Soldier had gone through, barely remembered her own training, and her new findings were only making more questions, not answers.

"_Hello?_" Natasha froze with her fist in the air a small voice echoed through her cavernous hideout. "_Please help me. I don't know where I am._"

"Steve…" Natasha ventured warily, turning slowly and trying not to make any sudden movements. "Steve we've got a problem…" It took her too long to realize that Steve was out, and he'd taken Sam with him. 'I can take care of it,' she'd said. 'Nothing will happen.' She was really getting tired of having to eat her words.

He was awake again. And this time not because Natasha had fallen asleep without switching out his IV bags. The Winter Soldier was adapting to her dosage, and quickly. He stared at her with giant, vacant eyes, not moving at all.

"_Please help me_," he said again. "_I don't want to go back into the dark._"

"_What is you name?_" Natasha asked, switching to Russian to match him.

"_I don't know,_" he replied miserably. "_I can't remember! I can't remember anything._" What the hell did they do to him? Natasha wondered. She'd never seen anything like this.

"Hey Nat we're back!" Steve called cheerfully before stopping dead in his tracks. The Winter Soldier's eyes snapped to the captain and narrowed dangerously.

"_He's no one,_" Natasha said quickly in Russian, desperately trying to keep the situation from erupting into violence. "_Subject, pay attention to me. You are an asset. Do you understand._" The Winter Soldier's gaze turned back to her and something dark slid behind his eyes, something familiar. He was used to this, this was something he understood.

"_I understand._"

"_Good._" Natasha said, striding across the room with as much confidence as she could muster and filled the IV bag with enough sedatives to knock out an elephant.

"_Wait_," Natasha froze as the Winter Soldier grabbed her hand with his human arm. "_Please wake me up soon_." Natasha nodded solemnly and the arm dropped.

"What was that?" Steve demanded, his voice tight with worry. "Natasha…did he hurt you?" She struggled to resist the urge to point out that he was still strapped to the chair.

"He woke up," Natasha said, her voice carefully even. "He just…woke up." He was scared, she thought numbly. Scared and young, so young.

"What did you say to him?"

"I acted like I was his handler," Natasha said. "He said that he didn't want to go back into the dark." Which is exactly where she had put him, Natasha said, feeling a stab of guilt. They froze him after every mission, that's what his file had said. "_Jesus_." For a moment, Natasha was tempted to show Steve what she had discovered, before she quickly clamped down on it. She couldn't tell anyone, not yet, not until she knew all the facts. And even if she did figure it out, Steve and Sam would never trust her if they found out about Red Room.

For now, she would keep it to herself. All of it.

* * *

**Hey all! I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Bit of a filler, but it will be important later on, I promise. Please leave reviews, they really do make my day, especially the lovely long ones. **

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**Have a lovely evening!**

**~Fae**


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